Ryan and Nicholas published this op-ed, "We’re a gay Tampa couple. Here’s what same-sex marriage has meant to us” in The Tampa Bay Times in June 2025.

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: Two closeted gay boys go to the same Catholic high school on Long Island, New York, attend separate colleges, come out as gay, then reconnect at 19, start dating, and become inseparable. They move to Tampa, get married, start posting about their lives and relationship on a TikTok and Instagram account, and now have a ton of fun sharing a window into their world to 150,000+ followers.

It’s a unique story – but it’s our story. And over the past 18 years we have been so grateful to find each other at a young age and support each other through life’s milestones.

One milestone that we’re thinking a lot about lately is getting married – since we’ll mark the 10th anniversary of the Supreme Court’s landmark Obergefell ruling later this month. We got engaged shortly after that decision, and in the lead-up to the wedding we fielded a lot of questions from our families. We encouraged them to see our wedding as something that would be authentic to us and our relationship, as well as a celebration of LGBTQ+ people having equal rights. We talked openly about what marriage meant – not just the title of husbands, but the respect, the recognition, the shared future that comes with it.

Understanding LGBTQ+ equality has been a journey for our deeply Catholic families. But our siblings, parents, and grandparents have largely journeyed in the right direction. Early on, we were sometimes looked at as friends rather than boyfriends. But years of being present and showing love have changed those dynamics. Now, we’re the ones asked for advice and insight about life and relationships, and that’s been really heart-warming.

One of our favorite moments with Ryan’s family was when we all went out to a local Pride parade near our hometown. Our young niece and nephew came with us, and everyone wore a rainbow-themed shirt. It made us feel included as a family and meant so much to see our loved ones being passionate and supportive, moving beyond simply “acceptance.”

The journey that our family has been on is not so different from the one our country has been on. When conversations about marriage equality first began in earnest in the early 2000s, public support was abysmal: 33% of Americans said they supported same-sex couples marrying. Since then, it’s been a complete reversal. Nearly 70% of Americans support marriage for same-sex couples. As more LGBTQ+ people have come out and shared their stories, more Americans have grown in understanding that we are your neighbors and fellow community members.

Even among people who don’t support marriage equality, it’s clear that the country has moved on. There were lots of headlines this year about state legislatures trying to pass resolutions encouraging the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell – but none of them passed, even in extremely conservative states. That speaks volumes the law is clear and settled, and whatever your personal beliefs, it’s time to let people be.

Today, hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples are living their lives, building families, and contributing to their communities just like anyone else. It’s kind of amazing to think about that – because when we were beginning our relationship, it didn’t feel like we had a clear roadmap. There wasn’t a ton of representation or many examples to follow.

That’s, in part, why we started sharing our lives online. Through our TikTok and Instagram accounts @NHIEGuys (“Never Have I Ever” Guys – named because we’re constantly on the hunt for new experiences), we highlight the best of Tampa and our various travels. What began as just two guys sharing about restaurants, places to see, and more has grown into a community of friends and followers who connect with our joy, our relationship, and our love for where we live.

We’re proud to share our life in this way – and we hope that when other people see our posts, they see a positive example of what can happen when you live authentically and joyfully.

Dr. Nicholas Catania and Ryan Sullivan live in Tampa.

Ryan Sullivan & Dr. Nicholas Catania

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