Have a Conversation about Marriage


This web site was created to provide you with the facts about what it means to allow same-sex couples to join in civil marriage, and how it works.

But the best way to explore why marriage matters to gay and lesbian couples is to have a conversation about it. Despite all the media attention, this is an issue many people haven’t had a chance to discuss. You can open that door.

Getting Started

Remember, you don't need to be an expert. And you don't need to change anyone's mind. Your job is to invite someone on a conversational journey. You may not reach the destination right away – just start down the path together.

Everybody's got a story to tell, whether you're straight or gay. Just because you’re “out” as a gay person or a straight ally, don’t assume that people in your life know how you feel about for gay and lesbian couples. They’ll most likely welcome the chance to explore the issue with you and get their questions answered. Send them to this site for more information!

What to Say

 Here are a few tips for conversations about why marriage matters:

  • The goal of any good conversation to understand where the other person is coming from and share your personal experiences.
  • Focus on personal perspectives. Ask “Why does marriage matter to you?” or "How would you feel if you couldn't marry the person you love?"
  • Starting a conversation about marriage can happen numerous ways: make a date to talk over coffee or tea, wait for conversation to touch on personal stories about relationships or life situations, or take advantage of news coverage about current events to initiate a conversation.

Click here to download (PDF) an extended list of "conversation starters."